am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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