but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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