I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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