my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
