you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
