There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
