real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
