Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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