Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
