Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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