May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
third nipple confirmed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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