do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize