thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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