I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My dick has a subreddit
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
