Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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