Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
