Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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