Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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