i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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