The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
