I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
