I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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