i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
