we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
