he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
