Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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