Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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