OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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