Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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