i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
