Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize