Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So vagazzling was a success
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
