My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
