I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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