Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A bitchslap is in order.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
