i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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