Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
