Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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