so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
