We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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