did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my poor anus
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
