a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
