just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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