I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
