I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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