i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
