Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Someone came in the potted fern
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
