Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
