.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
