I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
