Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
