brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize