Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
