I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
as a side note pls kill me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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