I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
