I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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