Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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